Passover Special: Britney Spears vs Javert's Les Miserables Melody

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Britney Spears

Britney. Spears. The top of the top in my opinion. Britney Spears is probably one of the most amazing people that has ever graced this planet. Before I start, I'd like to thank my fellow blogger "britneyspearsovertheyears" for making a blog about Her Majesty, Miss Spears. Britney has been through it all, kissing Madonna, holding a snake, shaving her head, and much public scrutiny. No pop star will ever be able to top Britney because she is the one. THE. ONE. I love Britney more than I can possibly write in one "Top vs Bottom" post. In Her own words, "She's (Britney) so lucky, she's a star."

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Javert's Les Miserables Melody

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!! The worst melody in Les Miserables is Javert's. Im sure you (my readers) all know what I'm referring to! The one that sounds terrible! It is basically worse than hearing yelling for a couple of hours. If anyone says they like this melody, well, we simply cannot be friends! Or even acquainted! Stay clear of me!! Les Miserables is a good musical, but its reputation is tarnished by this loathsome tune! 

The Prince of Egypt vs My Cell Phone

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The Prince of Egypt

The Prince of Egypt tells the tale of biblical figure Moses, from birth until the time he leaves Egypt. You might say, "What the heckle! No animated movie is better than the one good holy book's own story!" Well I say this; The Prince of Egypt is still telling the bible story! and it brings the story to life as well! The best scene in The Prince of Egypt is the 10 plagues scene, sometimes I think about it and I tear up. Another memorable moment in this film is when Moses splits the Red Sea through the power of one G.O.D. All in all, this movie is basically a cinematic masterpiece and has a KILLER sound track.

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My Cell Phone

I have an iPhone 5, and have had it for almost two years, and honestly I have NO idea what is going on! My "mail" app closes every single time I try to open it, I have 0% storage which makes phone functions almost impossible. My phone case is also falling apart, and the man at the Apple store told me that my case is the third best case in the business. Last night, I STOPPED RECEIVING TEXT MESSAGES ON MY PHONE!!! Can you believe that? I was on my computer, where I have messages, and I was talking to other iMessage users through there and my phone didn't vibrate at all! Like I got texts at 7:30 that I didn't see until I got on my computer!! What the heckie!

New York City vs Having to Bend Over in Public

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New York City

New York City, known as "The Best City on Earth," or "The Big Apple" is an American city located in New York, an East Coast state. NYC is known for its "concrete jungle," which is an idiomatic expression meaning vast city-scape. I love New York City, and when I went to the city over Spring Break last year, I knew I had found my true love. People may criticize New York saying "It's too much! There are too many people!" Well, when I went to the City I felt like I was on my own, but not alone, I felt at peace, walking alone through the city, but still in a large group of people. People may criticize NYC for being grimy, but we all deserve a little grime in our lives right? 

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Having to Bend Over in Public

Yes, we've all bent over before, but there is nothing more aggravating to me, then having to bend over in a public setting. Not only are you open to a swift kick, being that you are blind, but this may also induce back problems. Though I am only an average teen, I feel as though my bones are about 80 years old, and cannot take bending over! I prefer to have a young and nimble peer of mine pick things up for me, which is easy in a public setting. Bending over in private is less hellish because if you cannot get up, you can just flop on the floor until your mom or someone comes to help you up! One can't just flop on the floor at Costco, or in your high school halls, people might trample you. If you're trampled, then you have hospital bills on your hands! 

Lana Del Rey vs Peanut Hell

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Lana Del Rey

Lana Del Rey is a singer/songwriter who has released the albums, Lana Del Ray, Born To Die, Born To Die: The Paradise Edition, Ultraviolence, and is going to release Honeymoon in August. Personally, I love Lana Del Rey's style of music, and her aesthetic. Lana is known for having long, pointy nails and sometimes, a beehive hairstyle. Some of my favorite songs by Ms. Lana are "Cruel World," "Ride," "Carmen," and her cover of Nina Simone's "The Other Woman." Lana Del Rey's musical style ranges from a stylized vintage sound, to a Nirvana-like 90's rocker sound, to whispering. Lana Del Rey is not the biggest musical artist, but as she grows in her music, so will her popularity. 

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Peanut Hell

Peanut Hell, as I refer to it, is when you're done eating peanuts, but remnants of those peanuts remain in your mouth for hours. Peanut Hell can also be translated into Almond Hell, Cashew Hell, or Mixed Nut Hell. I think that Peanut Hell might be my most bottomed bottom! There is nothing I hate more than having my entire tongue encrusted with peanut crumbs. Some people may say "Kurt! You musty kid! Clean out your mouth!" I would reply by saying "Let me live," but my reasoning is, would a glass of water really clean out my mouth? Or will I be trapped in the eternal fiery abyss of Peanut Hell? 

Raven vs Donuts

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Raven

Raven, often referred to as "Raven drag" or "Raven queen" because there are so many "Raven"s out there, is a drag queen based in Los Angeles. Raven has appeared in RuPaul's Drag Race, where she was a runner up in season 2, RuPaul's All Stars Drag Race, where she was the runner up for a second time, and in RuPaul's Drag U, where she was a drag professor. Despite being  the "queen of second place", Raven is one of the most beloved queens to ever appear on Drag Race. Currently, Raven does drag gigs,  ( how else is she supposed to get that money), has a YouTube web show on World of Wonder's account where she "toots and boots" looks from season 7 of RuPaul's Drag Race. Raven also has a "sick'ning" mug, or makeup, for which she is known.  

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Donuts

That's right, you heard it right here. I HATE DONUTS. I don't think I can put to words how many times I have had a donut and then felt absolutley disgusted afterwords. Sure, everyone loves a good glazed donuts, but what is it doing to your digestive system? I'm not a doctor, but I'm sure if I don't feel good after having a donut, no one should eat them. Honestly, if you think about it, donuts aren't nearly as exciting as people make them out to be. Despite their unique yeast based dough (or regular dough aka the worst donuts) donuts are basically terrible. Plus they make you fat! EW!

Uma Thurman vs The Bottoms of Soda Cans

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Uma Thurman

Uma Thurman is an amazing actress and stars in one of my favorite films, Kill Bill. Uma is also a kind mother of three, and has won a Gotham Award, an Empire Award, and a MTV Movie Award for best actress. Uma Thurman appears in films such as Kill Bill vol 1 & vol 2, Batman & Robin, Gattaca, and Pulp Fiction. Also, I like to believe that Uma, along with Miss Britney Spears are my surrogate mothers, RuPaul Charles being my surrogate father. 

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The Bottom of Soda Cans

The bottoms of soda cans are basically disgusting. I underatand the idea of having an indentation on the bottom of a soda can, to avoid large rings when a soda can is placed on a table. I wonder, why people can't just suck it up and use a coaster? Think of all of the jobs coaster making would provide, our economy would basically flourish. I hate how soda can bottoms are the color of the metal, why can't the label go all the way down? Why does it have to be so gosh-dang ugly?